01
A numbered box
One to fifty, written on the box, not printed. When they are gone this ends and we do not reopen it under a different name.
Fifty boxes
Be one of the first fifty
Every brand you have ever bought from had a first fifty customers. Almost none of them will tell you who they were, and almost none of those customers got anything for it. We would rather do it the other way around.
This is not a pre-order for a product that might arrive. Everything below exists, has been made, and is waiting on one thing: the lab report we refuse to launch without.
What comes with it
Six things, and none of them is a discount
A discount tells you the price was never real. These are the things we can give that money cannot buy back later.
02
The printed dossier
A card in the box with the material, the factory, the batch, the lab and the report number, plus a code that opens that exact batch on this site.
03
The report, the day it lands
Emailed to you in full the moment the lab sends it, before it goes on the site. Findings included, if there are any.
04
Your price, locked
Whatever you pay now is what you pay for anything in phase one, permanently. If we get cheaper you get the lower price.
05
Our phone number
A WhatsApp line to the two of us. Not a helpdesk, not a chatbot. Reply times are human and we will tell you when we are asleep.
06
Your name, if you want it
Listed on the dossier page as one of the first fifty. Completely optional, first name only, and removable whenever you like.
If it is not right
If it is not right, write to us
You have fourteen days to change your mind, because European law says so, and we are not going to ask you to justify it. If something arrives damaged, or does not do what we said it would, write to us and we will put it right. We are two people, not a returns department, so we would rather solve it with you than hide behind a policy. The full terms are on our returns page.
We ask one thing in exchange: tell us why. That answer is worth more to us than the €18, because it is the only way the next version gets better.
The other half
What we are asking from you
This is a trade, so here is our side of it stated plainly. None of it is compulsory and none of it affects your guarantee.
One honest review
After two weeks of real use. Not a favour, not five stars by default. If it is a three, publish the three, we will leave it up.
Three questions about your baby
Age in weeks, what they can do with their hands, and what they did with the product. That is how the stage guidance on this site gets written, from real children instead of assumptions.
Tell us what we got wrong
The rim, the smell out of the box, the packaging, the shipping. We would rather hear it in month one than in year two.
We are not paying for reviews and we are not giving product away in exchange for one. You are buying at full price and telling us the truth, which is the only arrangement where the review means anything.
Claim a box
Four fields. We do not ask for anything we do not use, and the birth month is the only thing we act on.
The list
Fifty empty places
Nobody has claimed one yet, so this grid is empty. We are showing it empty rather than seeding it with names, because a fake list of early believers is exactly the kind of thing this company was started to get away from.
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